Oh hello!

Hey everyone.
So its been around 2 and a half months since I began the medication and its working out fantastic. My face is nearly clear and its looking great, and so many nice compliments have made this process worth it.
Due to the fact that as my face is getting clearer and clearer I am beginning to have less and less to write about. The horrors of accutane seem far away from my happy bright future of soft, supple, and unclouded skin.

Well just because my skin is "in the clear" doesn't mean that I have to stop writing this blog. Which is why I have decided to change the name and start talking about things other than acne, makeup, and facial products. I am broadening the spectrum to anything and everything. Maybe I'll talk about a recent delicious restaurant I went too, or a funny shopping story, or a lament about finals. Who knows? The sky's the limit with me and I am ready to push on through.

Right now I want to talk about perfume (or cologne for all you male readers out there.)
Perfume is the perfect way to touch yourself up before leaving the house to go to school, to shop, to the movies, or out on a date.
Your scent leaves an impression on anyone you encounter in your life. We as people always remember the way our grandmothers house smells, the smell of the grass when its cut, and the way it smells afters its just rained outside. So when we choose our perfect fragrance we really want it to be a way that people remember us.
But today there are hundreds and thousands of choices to choose from. Do we want to be more musky, more floral, more sporty, more masculine, more feminine. What do we want, and what do we want it to say about ourselves?
I personally have three different perfumes, I have two more "wintery" smells, and one fresh and light "summer" smell. I love all of them and when I put one on it automatically makes me feel as though I am complete and ready to go out.

Lets be honest girls, when we meet a guy and he smells fantastic, it makes us want to keep talking to him a little longer just to let the wiff of Ralph Lauren Sport, or Lacoste linger on our noses. (Men take note.)

In addition to that perfume makes the perfect gift for a girl and cologne is the same for your man. Lets be honest, how many of us girls have gotten our perfumes from our boyfriends, and guys how many of you have gotten it from your girls? I am guilty of this gift myself, giving it as a birthday gift to a guy. I loved the way it smelled and I wanted that smell around!

But lets be honest, we all know an hour after we put that perfume on it wares right off and were left smelling like Dove deodorant or laundry detergent.

Have a great week guys!

Wow its been a while!

Hey Everyone!
My apologies for taking so long to write a new blog. Life has been crazy between the end of midterms and break and Passover.
Accutane for me has taken a VERY crazy turn these past few weeks. First of all I started breaking out like crazy right before I went home and almost gave up on this medication all together..how can I possibly make it through this if it just keeps getting a little better and then a ton worse?
Then I got home to a stress-free and relaxed environment and my skin gradually kept getting better and better. I personally have a hard time noticing the difference, but since being back to school I have gotten countless compliments from friends, and readers saying that my skin is looking 10 times better then before I left.
This is a fantastic comment and I have LOVED hearing it. Makes this experience worth it.
So my face is looking a lot better, its just the redness that is apparent without makeup, but gradually it will go away. I am having severe hip pain (which makes me feel like an 80 year old women who is in dire need of orthopedic shoes) and joint pain which can be decreased with aleve. So all and all I am doing great!

So over break I was back home in good ole' Cleveland and got my dose of weather changes.
If any of you think that wherever you live has severe changes of temperature, think again. Nothing in the world is like the climate variations back home.
The first few days were mild and overcast, then out of absolutely no where came the snow.
My friends, we have just experienced a heat wave here in NY and I go home to SNOW?! IN APRIL!? Not okay. And it even froze over my car and accumulated on the ground in some areas...

Then something miraculous happened. A few days later I woke up to my mom telling me that it was going to be 85 degrees and sunny today. Imagine the excitement on my face! Sunshine.
We spent the entire day outside reading, gardening, and relaxing. After the lovely day in the sun i went inside to see my skin burnt to a crisp. Ouch.
After a cool shower I could see full well my lovely new farmers tan/burn on my arms and legs. How adorable.

I recently read an article that stated "having one serious sunburn before the age of 20 can increase your chances of skin cancer by 30%." What a frightening statistic. Most of us reading this have gotten a bad sunburn in the past. (Some of us reading this may even currently have a horrible sunburn!) And it scares me for all my friends who are not safe about using the correct amount of sun screen because they just want that golden brown look. But is a golden glow worth the possible risk of cancer? You tell me.
While at the dermatologist recently she was telling me about sunscreen usage. I asked her what SPF would be best for me to use with my skin so sensitive. She informed me that the SPF on the bottle is never really the amont of coverage and safety you have from the sun. In order to gain that amount you must FROST yourself like a cupcake with the lotion and reapply hourly.
None of us actually do this, so when choosing a sun tan lotion, go up in SPF rather than down.

Practice safe sun use guys!
And girls, if you want a tan, go the fake route and use tanning lotion. Jergans Natural Glow is AMAZING!

Have a a great week guys!

The one month mark!

Well I've done it everyone! Made it through one whole month on Accutane. I can't believe how time is flying, I really hope the entire process goes as quick as this first month.
I had my one month doctors appointment today. I was terrified as I walked into those twin brown doors into the lobby and went up the elevator to the suite, what if something went wrong with my blood work and I was no longer allowed to take the meds? What if the accutane wasn't doing what it was suppose to do and I could not continue the process? I wrote my name down on the check in list and took a seat and waited for my name to be called (and of course pronounced wrong, this particular nurse called me a classic Ariel Kah-seen.)

When I was finally seating in exam room 6 the doctor came in with a giant grin and politely asked me if I was excited to begin Accutane this month? Well...umm...Doctor I hate to be the one to break this to you BUT I have been on Accutane for four weeks already...Should this woman really have come into work drunk today? This is my life on the line here and she can't even get her weeks straight?! (Okay...slightly dramatic, but still.)

She looked at my puzzled facial expression and just giggled, "Of course I know you started last month, but we really dont usually see much change the first month so now you are REALLY starting!"
Huge sigh of relief...

So NOW the entire process really begins? What does that even mean? The lovely comedian doctor explained to me how now my skin is really going to start to dry up in double time, and that no new acne should appear, and it should all start to shrink. Fantastic news. My face has been slightly flaring up these past two weeks so it was a blessing to hear that all that will be stopping now.
I guess I can ask you all again to join my on my new journey to beautiful skin since APPARENTLY it has yet to begin. But it did now, today!

I would also like to take a second to talk to all those people I have been speaking to about starting their own Accutane prescriptions. I encourage you all to go talk to your dermatologists about what the best course of action is to fight your acne.
I personally know it can be such an uncomfortable thing to speak about, and embarrassing as well. No one wants people to realize they have imperfections, but come on! Did any of you read my last blog?! Anyways its amazing to hear that you have all been inspired to do something about your skin and I wish you all the best.

Now for an anecdote to hopefully brighten your day! My lovely brother has also recently began taking accutane, I'm almost positive it was from all the inspirational words he has read in my blog (but I doubt he would agree.) His experience so far has been quite different than mine, men while on the drug do not have to be constantly getting blood work done, and they also do not have to take pregnancy tests, therefore there is no one month waiting period before they can start. They can simply just begin.
Anyways, he has been on the drug for a few weeks now and has experienced the same dry skin and lips as me. Living in a house with a mother who is obsessed with skin care products, when he noticed his skin was getting dry he began rummaging through my mothers bathroom drawers.
Confused about what on earth he could be looking for my step-father stepped in and asked kindly "What are you looking for..?"
My brother respectfully responded that he was looking for some exfoliator.
My step-father just stared blankly and asked..what on earth is exfoliator.
I am so proud to call this boy my brother. What 16 year old 6"1 boy knows what exfoliator is? MY brother of course, its the girlyness in me that has rubbed off on him i think ;) In addition, my brother can be found walking around the house sporting a very high fashion biore' pore strip across his nose, for all those pesky black heads.
Way to go bro, way to go.

A tip to leave you all with, spring is just around the corner and because the sun makes your skin super sensitive start preparing now! "Exfoliate: wash or rub (a part of the body) with a granular substance to remove dead cells from the surface of the skin" and lotion generously!

Have a great week everyone!

The Mirror-You

Very recently an article has been brought to my attention that I think deserves to be spoken about and fits well into my journey on Accutane. The article is is entitled "Purim And The Tyranny of Beauty" and can be found on the popular Jewish news website Jewish Press. I will attach a link below for anyone interested in reading the article in its entirety. 

To sum up this piece in words more understandable than balabatish and zivug, the woman who wrote the article was for the most part stating that in order to meet the man of your dreams in a random fashion or while being set up, you must undergo extremes such as getting your hair permanently straightened, receiving a nose job, or undergoing gastric bypass surgery. The woman is calling out to tell all girls that men are only looking at our outer beauty to decide whether they want to get to know us in a more personal manner. This article not only made me insecure about my state of beauty at present time, but I'm sure that nation wide woman and girls reading this article are panicking due to the nature of extremes this woman went to and says we girls should go through as well to meet guys. Does this woman have the audacity to tell me that because of my skin I may not be able to meet the man of my dreams? 

Now, this is not to say that we shouldn't all take pride in the way that we look and that we shouldn't enjoy getting dressed up. But its articles like these that cause girls to be insecure and further, develop terrible eating disorders and other self image issues, this is something I have felt very passionately about for as long as I can remember.

So lets talk about self image. 

How many of us have one time or another woken up with a massive pimple the size of Alaska on our faces? And all we wanted to do was crawl under our covers and wait until it disappears. That tiny little red dot takes control over how we feel about ourselves until it finally decides that it has caused us enough stress and resolves to leave. We feel disgusting, and like all people see when they look at us is this horrible volcano about to erupt. We tell ourselves over and over again that no they are not staring at that scarlet speckle on our nose, its all in our heads. 

I bet this scenario or a similar one has happened to every single one of you reading this. 

And if its not a pimple its something else that makes us insecure; those freckles that appear in the sun, the mole to the left of our lip, the baby hairs that stick up on our foreheads, or the way our left eyebrow sticks up in front. These are the things we are forced to live with. And let me tell you...life goes on. 

Women and men meet and get married every single day, and not every women is a super model size 0 blonde hair blue eyed zombie, and not every man has washboard abs, pouty lips, and blue eyes you can drown in. And despite these stagering statements, I can say in full confidence we all reading this, if we have not yet already found our "basherts" (Hebrew/Yiddush term used to describe our "soul mates") we will, and we will all be beautiful in our own ways when we do. I think were all going to be just fine.

Now to catch you all up about my face. Its been close to three weeks since I first began this journey and its gotten a lot harder this week. The doctor said that around the mid 2-3 week period it would start to get a little bit worse and this has proven to be the case for me. My face is rather inflamed all over again and its beginning to even become painful. Its dry and oily at the same time which is super irritating when trying to figure out which of my products to use. 

My back is KILLING me and has shown me how my posture needs to improve, so I am working on that while enjoying the effects of tylonol and advil.

Another side effect that normally would not prove to be an issue is my sensitivity to sunlight, but due to the incredible weather we are all experiencing, it has become a problem. If I find myself outside lately without any sunglasses my eyes burn and feel as though they will melt at any second and pour out of my face and I will be left blind. 

Anyways after this week I am hoping for more positive changes rather than the negative ones I have been getting this week!

Blood test this Wednesday and Doctors appointment next Monday to record my progress from the first month.

Lets hope for the best!

Have a great week everyone! Comment below!

Here is the link to the article spoken about above. Please let me know what YOU think about the article in a comment below! 

http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/purim-and-the-tyranny-of-beauty-a-plea-to-mothers-of-girls-in-shidduchim/2012/03/19/4/

Ode to the blondes..

Firstly I would like to extend my deepest apologies for slacking this past week with writing. With Purim, and midterms its been CRAZY around here. But now I have a few minutes to myself before my birthday pandaemonium begins. For any of you who know me well.. and for anyone who has just met me recently, you can guess how seriously I take my birthday.
It is the day of all days, the moment we have all been waiting for. I would always agree with my mother that in fact March the 12 should be considered a national and international holiday. Yes world, tomorrow I am turning 20 years old. Celebrate good times COME ON!

In regards to my skin situation, the subject this blog is suppose to be about. Thing are mostly the same. My face has been clearing up slowly but surely and I really have begun to see a difference. Even friends have come up to me and said that they have seen a significant change in the past few weeks. How amazing.
My skin is really not as dry as I have read about other peoples being its really my lips that are the struggle. And I find myself using eye drops often as well, not only because I love the tingle, but because the extra moisture is a help.

Now the process of Accutane is interesting. The first thing that the medication is suppose to do is to suck all of oil and gunk from my body and skin and push it out through my pores (sounds simply lovely doesn't it?) Now this first section of the meds takes around a month. The first week I could really see it in my face that the meds were literally shoveling buckets of facial lubricant through my face, making my cheeks and forehead an extra mirror for any passerby to fix their lipgloss. After that initial oil load my skin turned matte, which is something that I have not had the pleasure to experience in quite some time. Needless to say I am thrilled.

On a completely different note I am a natural and proud blonde. Many would disagree and state that no right now its very dark and its been dyed and yadah yadah blah blah blah. No folks, I am in fact, contrary to popular belief, a pure and thrilled blonde. I LOVE my hair. I love the way its wavy and straight at the same time. And no real product is necessary for me to wake up and have a good hair day. Thats not to say that my hair does not have its pitfalls, the most irritating of all being how greasy it gets after only a day of not washing it.

Blonde hair, particularly straight or wavy blonde hair is MUCH more prone to develop oil quicker, which makes your hair look stringy and limp. I have always had to wash and condition my hair every single day without fail, or I would be left with strings of yarn hanging from my pathetic head. Now that I have been on this medication, a miracle has happened! My hair is no longer an oily mess after a long day!
I showered last night, went out, woke up this morning and was able to wear my hair down the entire day until now and it still looks totally great and fine. Not a lick of oil!
I quickly realized that this was in fact a side effect..but finally a positive one! Yay me and my perfectly clean after 24 hour hair. This is a big day for us blondes ya know, can I get an amen?

Obviously no one is going to go on Accutane to prevent oily hair..but I would like to really push the positives to keep me going. Its been a rough start.
Accutane causes headaches and muscle aches, both of which I have received unwillingly this past week. I am not one to get headaches at all, but these are bad.  Just keep popping the advil/tylonol and I know I will be just fine.
I wish I had more to update you all about but in this world, no news is good news.
Until next time all.

Happy Birthday to MEEEEE

The Way I Swing.

Well its been an entire week on Accutane and I have to say I am feeling pretty good. Yes its true, the side effects are pretty horrible. But I believe that in order to really have amazing results you have to put in a lot of hard work (which is why I will probably not be seeing such incredible results on my upcoming Developmental Psych midterm..woops.)

My skin is a littler dryer than usual, but nothing a little cetaphil can't handle. My lips are extremely dry so I've taken to keeping a mini chap stick in every single pocket of every jacket I ever wear, and a little aquafor in every school bag/purse/clutch/wallet I own. Being better prepared makes it easier. And let me tell you, this chapped lips thing, its not normal just chapped lips. Its dry, and sandpaper like and just really awful. Not to mention it kills to smile with them plain and dry.
My joints and muscles are pretty sore as well.
And I have severe dry mouth, which just promotes me to drink more water on a daily basis than usual which is fantastic for you (honestly we should all be drinking close to 10 glasses of water a day but who really does that..)

What I want to talk about today is a side effect that may seem minor in comparison but probably plagues hundreds of thousands of women and girls each and every day. Yes ladies, I am talking about mood swings. Now I know most of you guys that are reading probably just want to close out of the blog and forget it for the day. But don't. Its statistically proven that men experience just as many mood swings as women, they just dont notice or acknowledge them. 

Now sadly in the past Accutane has been linked to thoughts and actions of suicide and depression, but because of all the high tech new medical methods available out there is it no longer as major of a problem. But these mood swings and spouts of anger or depression are sometimes hard to cope with.

I have always been an upbeat, lively, and exciting person. Ever since I was a little girl I was always the one to yell, scream, laugh and have an amazing time no matter the circumstance or situation. I have always lived my life with happiness, pleasure, and delight. I take so much pride in my personality and how I have this spectacular gift of making people laugh and smile (yes tooting my own horn..I realize.) So when I first started to notice a slight change in my everyday demeanor this past week I got very nervous. What was this drug doing to me? I suddenly felt a little sluggish, more tired and less inclined to go out and about with friends. And this feeling did not go away. In fact it got a little worse day by day. By the time the weekend rolled along all Shabbat long I did not feel like doing anything. I wanted to sleep and read and not socialize at all.
It of course did not help that a few of my friends were also experiencing rough patches this past weekend and in addition were also not in the mood to deal with any of my funny business.
I think that gradually it will get better and easier as the month goes on. But for now its been hard differentiating how I am actually feeling with how this medication is making me feel. I have nothing to be sad about thank God. I have amazing and supportive family and friends and a very nurturing and kind environment at school. I just have to keep telling myself to keep going and be strong through all of this.

Anyways on a MUCH brighter note my skin is really starting to look amazing. Its clearing up right before my eyes and really evening out. I look like a normal person again! At this point its getting very red very quickly so I need to find some sort of product that relieves redness so if anyone has any suggestions please comment below!
Next time well talk about how something so small as a little red dot on your face can just change the entire way you view yourself, and how you think others see you.

Keep reading and keep commenting guys! If you have any questions or suggestions or stories or really ANYTHING I would love to see it below. There is no greater feeling in the world than seeing an email that someone has commented on my blog.
You all rock!

Ariella

Its only day 3?

Alright, let me first start out by saying that I really need to stop reading other peoples scary Accutane blogs. Not only do they freak me out beyond belief with the horrifying side effect stories (all the side effects PLUS more that I didn't mention in my previous blog..and I honestly think some of these people just made up horrible side effects to terrify me) but it makes me forget that every single person reacts differently to the drug.

For example, when I personally have a headache, or some sort of other pain or ailment (which come on, for anyone who knows me this is often..) I need to take 3 or 4 Advil or Tylenol, while some other people may only have to take one in order to feel relief. Another example of this would be how some people can use the medication Tums in order to ease stomach pains..but for me these chalky tablets just make my mouth dry for the next hour.

I am the type of person who is constantly on WebMD looking up new maladies, diseases, and infections that I may have acquired from the homeless man down the street or the elevator buttons in Brookdale. So when I began my research for Accutane I decided to go all out. I read every blog out there, every article, and ever possible item of information I could find. Some of the people who wrote never saw results from Accutane, and others had over night sensational miracle stories.

So where do I stand between these people? Will I be an overnight sensation like Justin Beiber or Sophia Grace and Rosie? Or a flop like Elliot Yamin (anyone remember him??)

Well let me give you all a little recap of whats been happening. The first thing I noticed after the first three days were how dry my eyes were. Now I am not an eye drops fiend like some other people I know, (hint hint you know who you are) I love the feeling of getting them put in and I giggle like a five year old but I dont go out of my way to use them. But my eyes have honestly never felt like this before. Its as if they have been open for hours without any tears or precipitation of any kind. So I just recently bought false tears which seem to have helped a lot.

The second thing I noticed was how my skin is now drinking up lotion like a runner would pound a water bottle after a 100 mile run with a giant bull mastiff chasing him/her . After applying any lotion or cream, anywhere on my body (hands, legs, knees, and face) within around 5 minutes it feels as if I had never even bothered to put it on in the first place. Now for all of you sweaty handed people out there this may seem like an answer to your prayers, but I happen to have perfectly conditioned hands which are always being complimented for their smoothness. So for me this is detrimental. But alas, I will survive. I have been using Cetaphil cream, and Johnson Lavender baby lotion which have both worked thus far. We will see if I have to change up the regimin.

The final main transformation is in my face of course. All the bumps, humps, bulges, and protuberances on my face have been going DOWN. Guys this is major. My skin is becoming a flat surface once again. How long have I waited for this moment? People have even already started to notice a change as well. My skin is no longer painful to the touch and I can put on lotion and face wash in a normal fashion without having to worry about making myself bleed.

Still to come: my hair is becoming less oily, my face more matte, and my body as a whole less buttery after a workout. Also still to come, the constant joint and muscle pains that are starting to begin.

I will keep you all posted!

Wait..Side Effects?

Well guys its all about to begin. The curtains are down, the lights are up, and costumes are on. Of course I am speaking most importantly about my prescription of Accutane which I just received today. (Also on a side note the show I am currently stage managing opens tomorrow evening!) 

To actually go about getting the prescription in the first place was quite the mission. Now I've previously explain to all of you how this drug is government issued and controlled and you need to go through many steps in order to acquire it. Well in order to actually get the papers to get the pills at whatever pharmacy, I needed to go back again to the doctors, pee in yet another cup, fill out millions of forms, take an online quiz (which I actually almost failed..how awkward would that have been..) and then finally get the medications. 

Yes, plural, medications. I am taking the Accutane once a day, plus prednisone for the first two weeks, and a topical ointment to prevent any further inflammation. 

But lets go back a little to the doctors appointment this past Friday and talk briefly about these side effects. (I almost just typed sound effects due to the fact that yet again, I am stage managing a show and am in charge of sound effects..) Anyways, I was called into the doctors office and asked to sit in a large, oversize chair with a side table filled with instruments I can only assume are used for the most tremendous types of pain affliction. The doctor walks in with a long list of things to start to discuss:

-the back pain

-the head aches

-the out of control dry skin

-birth defects

-the possibility of white blood cell reduction

-potential liver problems

the list really goes on..

As she is rattling off these probable side effects my stomach was doing backflips. Since when is a medication suppose to run your life? I understand that for many people their medications are in fact a part of their everyday life, but for me its hard enough to remember to take a vitamin once or twice a day, and now I have so many potential threats that go along with remembering to take the scary drug in the first place. 

After agreeing to the monthly blood and urine tests and initialing on the dotted line, I was ready to move on to this online quiz. I thank god could complete this exam in the comfort of my own dorm room. The multiple choice questions consisted of things like "What do you do if you become pregnant on this drug?" and "What are possible signs you may be pregnant?" and I just drew a blank. I answered a few wrong simply because I was so nervous. But once they let me answer the wrong questions over and over again, I finally passed and was ready to go on to the pharmacy. 

I dropped off my many prescriptions and made friends with a few pharmacists (its always important to create a relationship with the people working behind the counter, if they like you, they are much more likely to do what you want.) And today, a few hours ago, I picked them up. The package is possibly the most scary box I have ever had the pleasure of owning. (Check out the scary pregnant ladies! On every pill tab! YIKES!!) 

Well, I start the drug tomorrow so wish me luck everyone! And so it begins. My route to milky, clear, beautiful skin! Woohoo!

YOUR skin.

I think that one of the hardest parts of this entire process is how the medication procedure is so slow moving. In todays world everyone is looking for the quick fix: how to lose weight FAST, how to get some place FAST, how to do work FAST and so on. Because of this fast paced mindset that we are now living in, its hard to have to wait around for months on end for something to change.
This week has been the first time that I have even seen the slightest bit of change from the gel tempering medication I have been using.

Its hard to see such a real difference because of how dry my skin is (think sandpaper meets toast) but lately my face has been more readily soaking up the lotions and becoming less and less red which is absolutely fantastic. And if I've learned anything already from this process its to be patient.

Like they say "Rome was not built in a day" so to, my face isn't just going to clear up over night. So for now I have to stick to my daily routine of washing with only Cetaphil (**if anyone is actually thinking about changing face wash, men and women alike, this stuff is amazing, its gentle and has tons of moisturizers in it that make dry skin disappear within a week of starting to use it, its really been a life savor.) and smothering myself with every face cream under the sun. I have even resorted to the thickest of all night lotions to leave on as a face mask, when I go to sleep at night I feel similar to how I would imagine a mummy would feel wrapped in layers and layers of fabric.

Well since we are on the subject of facial care I may as well give you all some friendly advice on how to better take care of your skin so you never end up in my shoes (not to say that I did not take care of my skin...bad genes.)

-When washing your face, make sure you massage the wash into your face for 20-40 seconds (20 seconds for scrubs and around 40 for regular cream or gel face wash) so all the dirt, oil, and makeup washes off.

-Make sure to wash your face not only before you go to sleep, but also when you wake up because oil accumulates over night, also I find that when you wake up and wash your face right away it invigorates you like the people in the face wash commercials...

See..doesn't she look awake and ready for a hard day of work, school, or really anything?

-Put on facial moisturizer EVERY SINGLE TIME you wash your face. Yes, you to boys! Its so important to keep your skin moisturized (especially in your teenage years because dry skin wrinkles!) 

-Use a facial scrub at least once or twice a week to buff away all the dry skin flakes.

-USE SUNSCREEN!! I honestly cannot express this enough..I have a friend who will remain anonymous who decided it would be a fantastic idea to go to a beach and not put on sunscreen. What happened to this friend? She got perhaps what I would call the worst sunburn I have ever seen..her skin turned into scales that can only be described as mermaid like, and didn't go away for months..in fact I believe she still has a scar from this burn. So dont be like that and put on sunscreen whenever you plan on spending an extended amount of time outside.

-If you feel as though your dry skin (if you have it) is moving to your lips as well and they are flakey and parched. Take an unused toothbrush and gently scrub your lips with the soft bristles back and forth, then apply a lip treatment such as Aquaphor or simply Vaseline overnight and wake up with soft and lovely lips.  

If you follow all of these easy steps..your skin will personally thank me later in the form of being clean, clear, and under control (obviously thats the slogan for clean and clear..)

Anyways...as of now I will be beginning my dosage this weekend after a lengthy check up appointment this Friday, this means that all the horrible, scary, and terrifying side effects will begin to take effect. 

And I also just wanted to take a minute to thank all my incredible amazing friends who are constantly asking me when I will be posting next, and how for supportive they are all being. You are all amazing.

There Will Be Blood

I have a challenge for all you readers. Find someone who is not terrified of either :
A. Getting a shot
B. Giving blood/getting blood work
C. All of the above.

I promise this person cannot be found, and if they say they aren't afraid they are lying.

Its been ingrained in all of our heads since our first tetanus and flu vaccines that the awful 10 seconds of prep before the shot, to the post shot tape, that when the doctor comes in with that metal tray you should run for the hills.
So when I heard that part of this whole accutane process is monthly (sometimes depending on the dosage even more often) blood tests I was slightly... okay fine extremely terrified. Not only was I going to have to get these monthly blood tests alone in the city without my mommy to hold my hand, but I also was expected to be an adult about it and just smile and let the doctor poke me with her 10 foot needle.

Needless to say I had to man up and go to the doctor for my first stab in the arm. The entire experience was slightly dramatic to say the least. I ran into the building with a strong gust of wind and everyone in the lobby stared as if I had just gotten off the Enterprise with Captain Kirk. I went to three different parts of the building before I finally arrived at the dreaded blood zone.

When you walk into one of these blood labs you feel like your in every True Blood characters dream land; tubes and tubes of blood lined up on the walls all waiting to be tested for every reason under the sun. How will the doctors every remember which tubes are mine and which are the 87 year old woman's here to see the doctor for varicose veins and osteoporosis?

After filling out the piles of paperwork and answering unimportant questions it was my turn to be jabbed with the needle. I sat mostly still other than the constant tap tap tapping of my foot on the marble flooring. I turned the other way and set my eyes on a photograph of an elephant taking an afternoon snooze under a beautiful looking palm OUCHHH! The needle was in! I stupidly looked over to see this evil woman taking tubes and tubes of my precious blood and all I wanted to scream out was HEY I NEED THAT STUFF DONT TAKE TOO MUCH!

And then with another blink of an eye the entire thing was over, she gave me the choice of a plain boring bandaid or a cool tweety bird one and I obviously chose the later. And with that it was all over. So it really wasn't that bad..but that doesn't mean I didn't go and buy myself a lollipop after..

We all need a little reward for our hard work sometimes.
So now its just a waiting game, once the doctors approve my blood (which they for sure will, how could they not?) it will all begin.

Thanks for all your support guys. You dont know how much it means to me!

Until next time!

In the beginning...

Alright, lets start at the beginning. My name is Ariella Kossin (which you probably all already know since I'm assuming no randoms are going to read this blog BUT in the off chance I dont know you hello) and I just decided on a whim, with inspiration from a great friend who also decided to start her own blog, to start writing about my Accutane horror story with a hopefully happy ending. Now I am not by any means a good writer, in fact I am not very good. But I do always have a lot to say and I have always found comfort in sharing my feelings and thoughts with others, which is why I believe the best way to handle my frustration with my skin is through venting to the world. Classic me.

I have never really been the girl to have horrible out of control skin. In middle school I had the typical puberty break out, but after that my face calmed down for most of high school. In my year in Israel I had some ups and downs, but again it stayed mostly fine. The real atrocity came this year. Now people always say how stressful college is and how each person handles this stress in different ways; some drink and gain weight, others lose weight. Some end up in odd groups of friends. And others stress ends up on their face for all to see in bright red speckles that share similar features to a pepperoni pizza.

As I contemplated my options first alone, then with my mom, and finally a dermatologist I realized that this stress of college is not going away anytime soon, in fact the next probably four years of my life is going to be a stress fest so just making due with it will not be a good solution. I tried creams, gels, antibiotics, and other medications all with no luck. So finally I was in the only field not yet played: Accutane. The government regulated acne medication that comes with severe and extreme side effects, but ultimately a 99.9% success rate. At this point what have I got to lose? I could not leave my house without makeup and I felt so insecure with myself which is something I rarely feel, being the confident girl that I am. So I was all in. Sign me up doc!

The first steps of this strenuous process start with peeing in a cup
A simple yet daunting task for any woman. What if I miss the cup and pee on my hand? What if I cant pee at all and I just end up sitting here for hours waiting? What if theres something wrong with my pee? What if I spill it while handing it to the doctor?
Well thank god I passed with flying colors and got the negative on the pregnancy test ((**SIDEBAR: One of the severe side effects of this medication is birth defects, so when women are on it they have to be constantly taking pregnancy tests to make sure they have no buns in the oven) and was now ready for the 30 day waiting period.

Now, during this waiting period they put me on a gel like cream for my face to "temper" my skin while waiting for the accutane to take effect. This cream, like the medication accutane, makes your skin break out into a horrible crimson sea of hell for the first month or so. Right now as I write this my face is pealing off right and left and forcing me to wear constant makeup whenever I want to leave my dorm room.

The next step is my final blood test and pregnancy test and I'll be on my way to perfect skin.

Welcome to my journey to a new face, and for any of you who know me, you'll know that you all reading this and supporting makes up for all the confidence I've lost during these first few weeks.

I'll update you all as the process goes along.